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December 16, 2008

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OMG I expect to fail. I so need to learn how to derail this expectation! With the help of Peertrainer I expect to learn this skill.

After trying and failing to lose my desired weight so many times, I feel like even thinking about trying again is setting myself up for failure. This probably makes my "expectations" very low for myself - however, I think that now that I can realize that I am kind of setting myself up by wanting it but not believing it that I can change that. I've heard so many times that I should make attainable goals, but still when I start a diet or fitness regieme I think "I will lose 50 lbs this time" instead of we'll see how the first 5 come off and then go from there". It really is like a light bulb moment for me:)

I just want to say thank you. I never thought about any correlation between "what I want" and " what i expect". It's a great shock and eye opener for me to realize that what i really expect is "to fail rapidly" because i lack total confidence in my capacity to stick to a program. I'm on "failing autopilote" most of the time. Being aware of this triggers fear "how will i ever change if this has been going on for so long" and dispair. But ok, it is possible to change, i have quit smoking 9 years ago. I have changed many other aspects of my life. So I am capable to change my body and eating habits for ever. It's a question of quiting my old eating habits and attitude towards exercize. I'm wobbling, but I want to take my expectations 33 steps higher and from 0 (failure) to the loss of 33 pounds and maintain weight lost on a long term basis.

I think this will be the most difficult task of the entire plan---rearranging one's mental attitude. Those of us who have had many experiences with losing a lot of weight only to see it persistently inch back up the scale again, time after time, despite our doing everything "right," i.e., everything we have been taught--with NO cheating--will be very suspicious of it suddenly working for the first time. And all this weight loss was done with the aid of Weight Watchers, a number of cooperating physicians (some giving medications to dim appetites and promote energy), aerobics classes, the works. It is difficult to believe that one's expectations can be "set" to match one's desires when the realities of the past cannot be ignored. I want to believe, but at the moment, I don't.
It's very easy to tell people to just raise or re-set their expectations until they match their desires, but in reality, I do not believe this is something that is consciously possible. That sounds like a bad attitude, I realize, but it is based on real experiences, real efforts, losing 100 to 140 pounds several times on willpower alone, other times with medications, always with exercise (brisk walking, weight lifting, aerobic exercises in classes, biking, even running). I sometimes have wondered if there is a particular weight one is pre-programmed genetically to have, whether it be too fat or too thin, and that no matter what one does to change that it will eventually return to the original programming, regardless. This is cynical, but I've seen it so many times, and even had a couple of physicians say it was true.
What kind of experience does Joshua Wayne have in accomplishing this goal for others? For himself? How does one raise one's expectations to match one's desires? Is it a form of self-deception that is supposed to last? Expectations are based on what is experienced, what one sees and knows and has wrestled with. I will always be trying, of course, but at the moment I do not see this as a successful idea.

This is so true. Even though I am eating much more healthy and walking almost every day I'm not losing weight like I wanted. Let me say that again, like I wanted. In thinking about it I find that I still expect to fail just as I have for years and years. Today I'm going to start working on visualizing what I EXPECT to look like, what clothes I'll be able to wear, how I'll be able to move once the weight is gone. It's funny, I thought I knew this through reading The Secret and learning about the power of intention, I guess like anything else knowing isn't enough...applying concepts is the key, and this was a good reminder today.

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