Embarrassed To Show Up To A Weight Watchers Meeting?

I had emailed one of our Tip Of The Day subscribers to see how their weekly Weight Watchers meeting went. I was interested to hear more feedback about the new Momentum Program. So I was a little dissappointed when I got the response:

"I didn't go this week. I ate so much, I couldn't weigh in. I'm going Saturday morning. One thing you can do is make a comment about how people are eating so badly that they are ashamed to even show up and weigh in at weight watchers. There's a story in there somewhere.  And if it's happening to me, it's happening to the masses - you can count on that!"

This is interesting and I want to see what others think about this. I can relate to this, but am not sure what feedback I can give. I will ask Joshua Wayne and update the post. We are going to continue this discussion in the PEERtrainer community. There are some excellent comments below, one from someone who has experienced the same thing, and another who is a receptionist at Weight Watchers meetings and commented on how WW deals with this.

It may also be that you are not totally ready to commit to something like Weight Watchers. PEERtrainer has put together a short quiz to find out your odds of actually following through.

Comments

[pearl]

I joined weight watchers a few years ago and did the same thing. I binged really badly one week and was ashamed to go back and have them see how much weight I'd gained (like 10lbs in one week!). I never ended up going back. I would love to hear from someone who went to a meeting with a large gain and how the weight watcher leaders dealt with them. I had this idea that they would be shocked and disgusted with me but I'm sure thats not actually true. Did they comment about the large gain, ask what happened, were they sympathetic, etc... That would be helpful for me to know that they werent ridiculed for what happened.

[Chayo]

Your leader and receptionists really do care about how you are doing and should *never* ridicule you! When I have people gain (I'm a WW receptionist), I don't comment or anything unless they ask for suggestions - I hated it when i was losing and the receptionist would say anything at all about a gain.

Also, remember that you have a no-weigh-in pass that you can use - you still have to sign in and pay for the meeting, but if you had a really rough week, you can go, get the support you need, and not even worry about the scale.

[Janice Warren]

I'm glad you posted this thread. This is exactly where I'm at right now. I haven't been to my WW meeting in 2 weeks. I've gained and lost the same 10 pds for over a year now. But, within the last 2 weeks, I've regained 7 of those 10 pds. It's really embarassing when I go back with a gain. But, what it tells me is that without the meeting I do gain, whereas, with the meetings I lose albeit slowly but at least I'm not continuing to go up. Lastly, at my meeting, the leader and receptionists are fantastic. They always encourage me and offer support, they ask what I can do to support myself, making me responsible for my behavior and eating habits. I weigh-in on Mondays (tonight) and I wasn't going tonight, but now (thank you) I think I'm going to go and face the music. I really don't know if WW is the right vehicle for me, but it's something and something for me is better than nothing. I see that on my own, I'm lost. What does it really take to be successful? And, if not NOW, when?? Thanks.

[Mary Steiner]

i think part of the problem is that we are so angry and disgusted with ourselves when we fall off our plan, we are certain that others feel the same way. Believe me, we have all been there. It takes courage to go in and weigh in, but the WW staff is there to encourage and support us. A step off the path simply means we have to step back on -- not wander off into the wilderness. Think of these episodes as stumbling blocks that we learn from, and turn into stepping stones to help us.

[Trish]

I've been a WW member since October, right before I hit my 10% 20 pound weight loss in February I quit nursing the baby during the day I still only nurse her at night, That week, I gained almost 5 pounds. I was devasated. However, since that 20 pound goal I've been losing and gaining the same blasted pound each week since then. I made a comment at one of my weigh ins and they asked if I wanted help. I told them not yet!
Honestly I'm not following the program, I don't like tracking and have gotten away from writing everything down, I go in spurts. This is my first plateau! I figure when I start tracking again I'll start losing again.

The week I gained 5 pounds I asked to talk with the leader and she reassured me it's a minor set back, look at what you've already accomplished, it's one week, look at when you were tracking, make sure you adjust your points according to your new weight and see how it goes. 2 weeks later I hit that 20 pound mark. Even thou, I'm weeble wobbling lately, it NEVER crossed my mind not to weigh in! That's what's keeping my weight in check and honest.

Losing weight takes dedication. It's just how much time and effort you want to put into yourself. First time poster! Wahooo

[wwgirl]

hey everyone, im really glad that this is posted as a discussion topic. ive gone through the same thing. i really dont like it when leaders put people on the spot or make any kind of comments. i got to 5 week of maintenance and had a rough week and gained 5lbs. the leader though at the previous meeting announced to everyone that i was going to be at my goal the week after. i felt so embarrased to go to the weigh in as though ive let everyone down and everyone was going to judge me. with support from a friend that goes with me, i ended up going. the receptionist made a comment. one of the other people i told about my gained - gasped, yes, gasped. the leader approached me all smiley expecting me to be at my goal weight. the entire experience was humiliating and in general its not that bad, but i do find that the new leader for my group puts people on the spot and i really dont like that. i did finally reach my goal weight, and am now a lifetime member, but it was almost like i had to do that to prove to myself that im not a quitter, but i really dont feel like going to those meetings anymore, and think that will look for a different one with a different leader with the once a month weigh in.
i have a question though..what do you think about not weighing in when you know you've gained. i find that sometimes that makes me more depressed and makes me gain more, vs. giving myself the week to eat healthy and weigh in next week. but i always feel like i should be able to stand up and face the music...but honestly, when i do that its counterproductive. what are everyone's thoughts on that?

[Lyndi]

thanks for posting this topic. WW usually is very supportive when you go in, but I know now that if I go in after gaining, I have to be ready for anything. After reaching my goal, I dropped out and started gaining again. When I decided to go back, I couldn't face weighing in at the first meeting, and found an old pass that is supposed to let you skip weighing in. However, the receptionist told me that since it was the first time I had weighed in that month, I HAD to weigh in. I told her I wouldn't have come if I knew that. I just wanted to come back in to a meeting, sit and listen, get back into the groove. The leader overheard, and intercepted the receptionist, telling me she understood, and that I could go on in. The receptionist wanted to argue about it, but I just walked in to sit down. Even though the leader stepped in to support me, the incident ruined it for me, and I never went back. I feel like a wimp to let one incident stop me, but when you're feeling embarrassed, down, and trying to get back on track, the last thing you need is a rule stickler- I just needed friendly faces and encouragement. Thanks to Peertrainer, I've found it again.

[Amy]

I'm not a member of ww, but of TOPS (Taking off Pounds Sensibly). I've had PLENTY of those moments where I feel like I can't return, but I know that if I don't, I'll never gain control of my bad habits. If we have a gain, my group is so supportive and just tells each other to "don't give up, dust yourself off, start all over again." It really helps, to know that everyone has a junky week, but it always makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone.

[Debbie]

Hi everyone! I think the key is personal accountability. this is a life lesson.

That moment when we decide whether or not to go to the meeting when we know the news is bad is one of those potentially life changing moments.

Deciding to take the hard choice can be the turning point in your life. Sometimes that kick in the rear is what we need to move forward, not another group hug. Dealing with a setback immediately prevents a small gain from turning to permanent failure.

if we don't face up to the tough stuff, how can we ever change bad habits and turn weight loss into a lifelong change in lifestyle? Kind of like the kid who didn't do homework then worries the teacher will call him/her for an answer s/he's not prepared to answer.

sometimes you just have to suck it up and accept the setback. I find when I have the guts to face the music, it gives me courage to get back on track. It's when we take the easy way out that we start to give up-one missed meeting becomes two, then three, then never return and back to square one with weight gain and old habits. And we don't understand how it happened.

If the group holds its members accountable, that's one thing. If deliberately humiliating, then that group motivates through bullying and maybe you need another group. But don't let THEM stop YOUR momentum!

I have to face the music tomorrow night when I weigh in with my personal trainer and explain a 3 lb weight gain after run/walking a half marathon. Answer: I'm rewarding my success by eating too much inappropriate food and cutting way back on my exercise. Thinking about having to get on that scale made me get back on that treadmill every day this week and at least try to get back in the habit of doing three miles a day. Not as hard to get back on track as you think or expect!

Get back to your meetings, if even a different one!

[taryng]

I think that every time I go to a WW meeting I should get a gold medal for having the courage to face my peers! I break the mold a little bit and use a personal trainer who (thankfully) embraces the WW philosophy - he gets a bit fired up and recently wrote a blog post that inspired my philosophy on how to think about people looking at me weird and saying bad things. He calls it the 'f&#k you for judging me' approach :)

http://jamieatlas.wordpress.com/2009/05/20/your-weight-loss-mindset-pt-1-fk-you-for-judging-me/

It works for me :)

[Becky]

I have been going to weight watchers since February and I feel like it has really helped . I have tried every quick fix out there was unable to keep the weight off. I had 2 babies in 2 years and I work at a job where I am sitting all day so I was about 178 when I started at weight watchers. I first tried that Acia Berry and Total Cleanse and lost 10 pounds of what I think was just water weight and then nothing. I was determined to lose so I joined weight watchers and started to work out at Curves (who also has thier own weight management program). At first I was doing great but then I went from losing pounds to losing lunces and then one week I gained. I totally lost my momentum. Stopped working out and I didnt go to a meeting for a few weeks. I felt horrible - all over a 1.2 gain. I realize to some people that may sound silly - but when you are determined to lose weight and then you have a set back - no matter how milor it may sound to others - it may as well have been 10.2 pounds in my mind. Then as a mom I started to think of all the advice I had given to my teenagers over the years when they wanted to quit or lost momentum. I started tracking and worked my way slowly back to Curves. I think part of the problem is that when you start something and see results you are encouraged to stick with it - but then when your progress slows - and with weight loss it always does - it feels easier to give up than to continue. Part of my problem was I went from doing everything right to slowly letting bad habits - aka. greasy foods in moderation and finding excuses not to work out - slow & stall my progress. To help myself get back on track I started taking Alli. I realize diet pills are not for everyone - but this particular diet pill is FDA approved and it blocks 50% of the fat that you eat. In the reading material I found an interesting little tid bit about how to define if what you are eating is truly low fat - no more than 3 grams of fat per 100 calories and you should not exceed 15 grams of fat in your meal. For me Alli made me accountable for the food I was eating - the side effects of eating greasy foods is not a good thing with these pills - nothing that will threaten your health - but it definetly works to deter me from the greasy foods which is my weakness. So personally I have found a combination that works well for me - Weight Watchers food and counting points - working out at curves (no more than 3 times per week so that I dont get burnt out on working out), and Alli. Since January I have managed to lose 28 pounds.

[Julie]

I feel the same way about weighing in later this week. I had a great weekend with my husband celebrating our anniversary. I didn't work out, didn't eat all that healthy and had my fair share of celebratory drinks. I am nervous to weigh in because I lost the week before and was really proud. But I have managed to think of it this way. My weight goals aren't by the week, they are by the month or year. And to be honest, this past weekend was a pretty normal weekend for me before I started weight watchers. A pound or two more on the scale is a reminder of what a diet like that will do to me OVER TIME. But this was just one weekend, and I refuse to get discouraged over a few days when I have so much time ahead of me.

[Loreen]

I am a current weight watcher member. I always gain 3-5 pounds that time of the month. I learned to be good to myslef whether I am up in weight or down and that eating a consistently healthy diet and moving my body at least three times a week as worked to keep me on track. I have used the no weigh options a few times. I don't usually return to the class if the weight watcher staff makes an issue on my gains. It has only happened twice in to years. I have kept almost forty pounds down and have more to go. Weight watchers has given me needed support, because I am an emotional overeater and tend to overeat under stress. Attending meetings keeps healthy eating, relating to my mind, body, and spirit balanced which is a holistic approach which I find key to my overall well-being.

[Susan]

When you don't WANT it go.. is when you NEED to go the most!

[Kimberly Krueger]

I find that it is helpful to stick to your committment to the process and to use the weigh in as feedback about how your plan and what you did for the week worked. We can't control the outcome (the number on the scale) only our effort. It is also important to be able to have someone to talk to about why you ate the way you did, so that you can learn from the feedback. Otherwise we continue to repeat the mistakes that don't work. We are not what we weigh. You are not good because you lost weight or bad because you gained. While nutrition education is important even more important is understanding why you ate the way you did and learning skills to manage that so we can stay on track.

[debra]

I've been to ww twice in my life where i would go to meetings...i found that when i gained or just didn't lose i was told that i wasn't following the program - even though i was 'religious' about following it to the letter. i could go on and give you more examples, but i won't.

there are so many things that create weight gain, and being made to feel ashamed of ourselves is the worst way to force someone to lose weight. we just need some compassion and empathy and yes a nudge once in a while - everyone has been there. that's what a 'support group' is supposed to be for.

i've started ww again - but i'm doing it online this time. i'm also using the peertrainer website, plus using some other 'diet' plans - the 'fusion' thing. when i gained weight this week, i went into this ashamed and oh my god, what will people think mode. i was really down and really going to quit- again. But, i've decided that i'm going to stick it out.... not give up....

i've read some comments in peertrainer and on the ww site that helped me get back on track. i looked back at what happened [because of tracking] and have found the culprit and will now be able to get back in the saddle. and believe me it was such a small thing that i couldn't believe that that's all it took to gain 2lbs.

i think for me right now, it's my life and health and i can't let anyone [even my evil self talker] talk me out of staying the course. there is no other way out - i want very much to follow this through.

i'm sorry for the ones that get treated badly at meetings. but, i can say that there are other ways now a days. we don't have to have people treat us badly. we can go online or find other methods, rather than whip ourselves once a week; being terrified to go weight in for crying out loud.

best of luck to us all. debra