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Weight Loss Self-Sabotage: How To Break The Cycle

We just published a new article on the site that serves as a guide to help people identify the ways they sabotage their weight loss efforts. Here it is:

How To Stop Self Sabotage

Become Friends With Your Body

Joshua Wayne, in week 4 of the weight loss boot camp, asked the following question: 

Are you friends with your body? 

If you don’t like your body, in fact if you don’t love your body, you’re not going to take the best care of it.  You’re not going to be patient with it and do everything you can to make it healthy. 

If you’re not friends with your body you’re going to neglect it.  Think about it…what do you do with people you don’t like?  You avoid and neglect them.  Well, strange as this may sound, you will do the same with your body.   You’ll avoid and neglect it by not taking care of it with good diet and exercise.  It’s the only one you have…you’re stuck with it.  You’re either going to be friends with your body or enemies with it.

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The Relationship Between Losing Weight And Happiness

We all want happiness in life. It really doesn’t matter where you come from, how much money you have, what neighborhood you live in- what you ultimately want in life is happiness. You want to feel good about yourself, the people around you and you want to feel positive and optimistic about what life has to offer.

If you’re reading this, then it’s also likely that at some level you believe that losing weight will help you get closer to your happiness. You want to lose weight because you believe it will bring you closer to being happy.

Happiness can be a bit of a tricky topic, though, for 2 reasons:

1. It’s such an individual thing, and means something different to everybody.

2. Because very often the things that we think will bring up happiness in reality will not. They might even bring us greater frustration and unhappiness.

When it comes to understanding and mastering the connection between weight loss and happiness, I have found that there are three different things you need to look at that can really make the difference. You may have found that just one of the three will apply to your situation, or elements of all of them may be necessary.

1. Courage- Sometimes there are some significant emotional issues that stand between you and losing weight. I particularly find this to be true among people who have a lot of weight to lose. Ultimately, what you need is courage to face these issues. Finding this courage and working through your issues will bring you so much closer to not just the health and body you want, but true lasting happiness.

2. Discipline- You may have a strong drive to lose weight, but you just don’t follow through. Maybe you’re good for a few weeks or a month, but then you lose your focus. Developing discipline to stay focused on your goal can get you over the hump and on track to the weight loss and happiness you desire. You don’t have to go after all bad habits at once- in fact, it’s probably not a good idea to do so. But it is a good idea to start gradually building your discipline for focusing on one or two things at a time.

3. Self-acceptance- Sometimes the things we think will bring us happiness in actuality will not. Be careful that you don’t get caught chasing perfection. Sometimes we think losing those last 10 pounds will make us happy, but then we think it’s something else that will do the job. I’m not saying don’t go after the last 10 pounds, but be careful that you’re stuck chasing after goal after goal thinking each one will bring you happiness only to find they don’t. What may be necessary is to work on your self-acceptance, and accepting yourself as you are- not endlessly chasing a sense of perfection that doesn’t exist.  

In the following video I explore these three categories and further explore this connection. I would be very interested in your experiences, and please share on this PEERtrainer thread.




The relationship between weight loss and happiness is something we go into in depth in the Point Of No Return Program. We are currently offering the first two weeks for free. You can learn more here.

Joshua Wayne is a Personal Development Coach and Trainer who focuses on weight loss, fitness and mind/body wellness. He is the co-creator (with PEERtrainer co-founder Jackie Wicks) of the “Point of No Return” training program that helps people adopt the thinking and behaviors necessary to finally get “un-stuck” and overcome frustration and hopelessness in their weight loss efforts.

Getting Motivated To Lose Weight

This is another key component to the basics of long term weight loss, how one gets and sustains the motivation to lose weight. Joshua Wayne continues his series of clips on some of these very basic and elemental things. Just so you know, I work to add a very practical layer to his clinical layer and we find the two very effective. These blogs, videos are all part of the free PEERtrainer Tip Of The Day weight loss coaching program.

We Live Up To Our Expectations Not Our Desires