I have a friend who has lost at least 15 pounds over the last few months and she looks great. She carries herself differently with a confidence I haven't seen in a long time, she has more energy and she can wear jeans she hasn't worn in over 5 years.
But instead of being psyched about it, she kept talking about how her family is coming into town next week for thanksgiving and she's still heavier than she's ever been. She really wanted to lose at least 10 more pounds prior to their visit and she couldn't stop beating herself up about it.
I think we've all experienced this - you have made some progress, you're feeling better and probably looking better than you have in a very long time but you're down on yourself for a variety of reasons. Most of those reasons aren't rooted in reality but it doesn't matter - the rules you've set up for yourself haven't been met.
I'm here to say this: take today, even just one moment today to just Stop It. Stop being pissed off at yourself that you only worked out once this week instead of 3 times. Stop being down on yourself for not running a marathon by the age of 25.
Stop berating yourself for having way too many slices of pizza last night when you promised yourself that you would not have it, no matter what. Today, focus on what you have done over the last month that has been positive. Spend a moment to write down some of the good habits you've developed, no matter how small and insignificant they seem.
Did you cut down from 2 cups of coffee to one cup of coffee? Did you order a salad at lunch yesterday when it could have just as easily been a plate of wings? Did you run around at the mall instead of sitting on the couch with a movie?
All of the small, good habits that you've started to incorporate into your life should be celebrated as accomplishments. You don't just go out and run a marathon one week after you've decided to run one. You build up to it. You run a mile a few times a week, then a couple of miles in the next weeks, then you build up to long runs on the weekend.
When you stop beating yourself up you will start to focus on the small, good habits that you've started to build upon. You will see that they will all be your "one" mile runs that will help you accomplish the Long Term Goal "the marathon".
this helped a lot and i like this. I need this more than anything,i am so hard on myself. I am going to try and read this for motivation and help everyday if needed thank you! I hope i can just stop the stress and be able to calm down relax and not always be on my case cause it is playing a toll on me and my health.
Posted by: Jessica | July 29, 2011 at 02:54 PM
ooh! I needed this today....turned me right around...I feel like I am making progress even though the scale is feels like the enemy.
I chose not to eat ice cream yesterday, did two workouts and didn't over eat last night! yah me... and today I packed my gym stuff...
just keep going...I'll be back in pre-prego favorites
Posted by: CC | May 14, 2010 at 08:23 AM
Thank you! This was just what the doctor ordered...2 lbs is 2 lbs...celebrate each pound lost and thank God it wasn't a gain...
Posted by: Karen | March 11, 2010 at 09:30 AM
Thanks for that great tip of the day! As often it exactly hits the spot for me today! As I had a little hard time (my mum will have a surgery to remove a tiny little breast cancer next Tuesday), I was close to beat myself up the last few days, because I dind't eat and workout the best way.
But after thinking about that tip, I realized which great things I already did since my 8 weeks with Peertrainer. So much has changed already! So I'll just go on!
For me that's the most essential point when losing weight: you have to learn to love yourself, not beat yourself up and be proud of your achivement. Then the rest will fall into place - I hope at least. ;-)
Have a great day!
Posted by: Sonja (oh-lilian) | December 17, 2009 at 06:30 AM
Hearing the story of your friend really struck a nerve for me too because I have felt this way in so many situations myself. I think the important thing to realize is that when we beat ourselves up, we are really encouraging those behaviors that get us into trouble in the first place! I used to eat, drink, and shop to dull my negative feelings towards myself and those are the very same things that got me overweight, unhealthy, and in debt! I am making progress only because I learned how to actually be good to and to value myself. And it hasn't been easy. But someone told me something that I kept in mind all these months. When you realize you are having negative thoughts about yourself-imagine that a dear friend was confiding in you the exact same shortcomings and think of what you would say to him or her. Because in the end, you have to be your own best friend. Ok. I'm done with my rant today! Thanks for reading!
Posted by: Jodi | October 21, 2009 at 11:56 PM
Wow! I really needed to read that this one. This hits home. Thank you!!
Posted by: Farrah | February 24, 2009 at 08:24 AM