Slights, Real and Perceived : Tips On How To Develop A Tough Skin - PEERtrainer

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January 06, 2009


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I rarely leave comments on articles because people have normally said it. But on his occasion this article is so relevant to me I had no choice but to. Many thanks for this. I will use the techniques to control my prickliness because I can actually feel that this is going to work.

I love this article. I have spent a good deal of time in my life working not to over-personalize what people say or do. I don't want to be one of those "prickly" people.

I especially love this article because it articulates some of the insights people in recovery learn in a 12-step program. However, many people resist the idea of recovery -- from anything -- so putting it in a more general sense makes it more accessible to a greater number of people. It's great to see the concepts by which I have learned to thrive shared outside the confines of a recovery group.

Nice work, Jackie!

Glad we can help!

At siteInspire, we got rid of our 'clean' tag, because 90% of the sites we featured started to have the tag, making it a little meaningless. So we tagged you with Big Type, Columnar and Dark which are a little more meaningful for people when browsing the showcase.

That said the site is beautifully clean and a pleasure to browse.

The answer to "Why would he say that to ME?" Is usually because you were there.

If he flirts with you, he'd probably flert with his grandmother. - or, if no one else is availibe, he might complement a man on his shirt, hat, etc.

Remember the answer to why didn't he call me, or why is he married to someone else, according to the best seller was "He's not that into you." Emphais on the HE not the you.

If your mother in law is critical of you, she's probably critical of "the butcher, the baker, and the candle stick maker."

They say that college boys left alone think about sports and about sex. Maybe not in that order.

College women spend time going over conversations. Guys usually don't look at relationships that hard.

My latest secret of life is Savoring. I don't try to deal with habitual put downs, or try to change people. I "disengage" from negatives and patiently look for something to savor: Bites, Sips, Stretching, looking at clouds, getting tiny things done. :-)

This is EXACTLY what I needed to read. Thank you so much!! This article is going in my "to re-read" folder.

I look at it like this. When someone is reacting to something it is personal to them but not towards me. Just Q-Tip it! (Quit taking it personal).

I used to teach my daughter that everyone has their "story," a reason behind things they say and do, and that often times people aren't really trying to hurt your feelings or "be mean" to you, they say the things they do for reasons we might never even know. For instance, in middle school she had a friend who slighted her and called her names. They'd been friends for a couple of years and my daughter was very hurt by her friend's behavior. But this girl had been recently abandoned by her mother. When I helped my daughter to see the possible "story" behind her friend's behavior, it made her feel a lot better.

This is a great article, Jackie. It reminds me to stop thinking my husband is "putting me down" about my weight all the time, to get that chip off my shoulder, and to start remembering that he really loves me and it's not about me!


It also helps to remember that what others think of us in none of our business!!!

great article!

I think almost everyone of us can relate to this article. Sometimes we know that we shouldn't react but still we can't control our emotions.
This article is of great help. It's like food for thought.. :)

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