PEERtrainer

What Successful Weight Loss REALLY Looks Like

Hint: It's not the weekly 7 - 20 pound loss you see on reality television!

We tend to see the same thing over and over at PEERtrainer: people can actually be on a successful weight loss track, but because they don't KNOW what a successful track looks like, they think they are failing.

Once they believe they have screwed up, then they say "screw it" and really screw up. If only they knew how well they were doing! While success does depend on your specific goals, starting point, body type and regimen, there are a few things that are consistent across the board. Once you measure your weekly weigh in against this checklist, you'll know if you're on the right track.

1. Weight loss does NOT come in the form of losing 2 pounds every week until you reach your goal, no matter how well you've stuck to your food and exercise plan.

When you were gaining, you didn't gain 2 pounds every single week in a measured fashion. You're not going to lose it in a measured fashion no matter how well you stick to your plan.  You might lose 2 pounds one week.  You might even lose three pounds in a week.  Then, you might lose 1 pound the next week.

Some weeks you might lose zero and there are weeks you even gain.  These weeks are the most frustrating and we all have these kinds of weeks where we feel like we're doing everything right and the scale doesn't give us what we want.

Keep track of the weekly weigh-ins but take a look at the month and see the overall trend. You might have gained a 1/2 pound one of the weeks but take note if you lost 4 pounds overall for the month. If the month is trending downwards, you are in the right place.  

2. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time.

Sure, there are a few people that are perfect.  I haven't seen them but I'm sure they're out there.  There are also a few people who can eat 3000 calories a day and have a perfect figure and that's just the way it goes. Just because you went out drinking and ate all the bread, stuffed your face with pasta, and had 2 desserts, and then woke up and had a cheese omelet the next day does not mean you have failed.

Everyone does this.

We all make a committment and we all slip up.  Just like Vince Lombardi says, it's not if you fall, it's if you get back up. You fell. So what? Learn what will work for you to get back on track. You can fall and still be on a successful weight loss track by simply making the decision to get back there.

3. You've been doing everything right and you're not losing anything. (aka The Dreaded Plateau)

We rarely see members who don't hit a plateau in the weight loss process. Some can last for a few weeks. I was on one for an entire year!

It's so easy to say to yourself, "I'm doing everything right so this is where my weight should be."  That might be true, but it might not be true. It wasn't for me. Once I changed my approach and made the decision to be thinner, no matter how long that would take, I dropped the weight. I increased the nutrients. I changed my exercise approach. I kept the principles of optimism by Martin Seligman in mind. Plateaus do not mean you are done. They are usually a sign that you need to make a change. Do you have the courage to figure it out and keep on going?

Keep in mind that a real weight loss track of ordinary fluctuations are boring to watch. The double digit weekly losses you see have to be created somehow, which is why it's television. Sometimes the loss is real and lasting. Many times, the weight loss results are usually over once the 6 week "sprint" has come to an end.

Real life is more like a marathon, some miles are effortless, some are excruciating and the only way you really fail is if you quit.

Jackie

How To Be More Powerfully In Control Of Your Choices By Living Without Apology

We were recently sent the following question:

"I feel like I'm always apologizing for everything. I apologize when I order a salad instead of a cheeseburger by always saying, well I have a big event coming up, so I really need to watch what I’m eating".

I see other people do this as well. They "apologize" for their order with this: "I'm ordering a salad with grilled chicken because you should see what I ate last night! Margaritas, chips and salsa - I must have eaten three bowls of chips alone!" Why say anything?

It's everyone's dream to live without apology but no matter how many quotes we see, we take a step in that direction and we get hit so hard with a snarky comment that we go back to making excuses and "living with apology". How do you start to have the confidence - what is the first step to living life without apology?"

Joshua Wayne has created a detailed response to this question. Here is his answer:

http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_live_without_apology.aspx

Do You Feel As If You Are Truly Capable Of Losing Weight?

This is something we emailed out Sunday, May 2nd: We are working on a "mission statement" at PEERtrainer, and in the process trying to hone in on "the thing we do best." It is a tough question to answer because we do a lot of things in response to the needs of different people.

From Habib's perspective the thing we do best is simply foster communication and conversation. Ideally we ask questions in a way that really gets you thinking.

Joshua Wayne is focused on the coaching aspect of PEERtrainer, and his response was very interesting. We had asked him "what is the single thing we do best with the coaching program and what have been the results?"

As an exercise this Sunday, read his response, and then think for a few moments about the question asked in the subject of this email:

"One of the key things we have set out to accomplish, from my perspective, is helping people feel like they are in control of their relationship to food so they can get where they want to go.

Feeling out of control is one of the worst feelings in life. Desperately wanting something, like to lose weight, and not feeling capable of getting there is a terrible feeling. Feeling like you'll always be overwhelmed by your lousy habits and that you'll never really be in control of them. Feeling like no matter how hard you try, and no matter how many times you try, that your negative emotions will ultimately derail you. These feelings build and build and build which leads to hopelessness.

So one of our main goals was to help people get back in control. One of the key ways we do that is to teach them to start being easy on themselves - not beating themselves up endlessly. People add insult to injury when they beat themselves up after they "screw up" on their diet. We see that many people have this "perfectionist"streak and we start to break that up by teaching them to be patient with themselves.

Simultaneously we're giving them REALLY good diet info. Not fad type stuff - in fact exactly the opposite. We help them lay the foundation for healthy, sustainable lifestyle change.

We also really embed this whole program smack dab in the middle of their lives too. This is crucial. We're not forcing them to create an alternate reality in their life where they can get healthy. They have to be able to do it in the middle of the crazy day with job, boss, kids, husband/wife because that's their reality and that's where they live.

If they have to attend to all that stuff, AND THEN have to go and carve out time for 3 elaborate meals per day (plus all the shopping and prep) so they can eat pistacio- crusted tilapia with carmelized onion asparagus consomme for dinner it's just not going to happen. Same with the exercise piece. It has to be centrally located in their life.

Not an alternate reality where they have to now squeeze 5 trips to the gym into their life.

Building on that, they have to be able to deal with: work dinners out, frenemies sabotaging them, the "crappy" food inertia of their family when they go home to visit. All that comes up and you have to have a "tool-kit" to deal with it. We give them that tool-kit.

Lastly, we provide consistent support. We're there for 12 weeks, at least a couple times a week. Sometimes with an email saying hi and a friendly reminder to look at the bright side, sometimes with a video or an article and of course the weekly calls.

Everyone needs consistency to make things happen, whether it's building a business, making a relationship work well or losing weight. We provide that consistent support which helps people internalize this optimism and get back to that place of self-control.

Fostering self-control is the key."

I thought that this was a very helpful observation for us, and a great question to ask everyone. This "Tip Of The Day" list that you are reading right now is designed to communicate with you and get you thinking.

And if you are one of those people looking to get in control, I would highly encourage you to try the first month of the Point Of No Return, and let Joshua work some of his magic. We often find ourselves "soft-selling" his work, but as we go through all the feedback from people who finish the program we see that he is very good at accomplishing his objective.

This isn't the kind of situation where we are promising this crazy quick weight loss. This is the complete opposite of all that. Joshua helps you take a step back, and helps you examine all of your assumptions.

At the core it is really about your relationship to yourself. So often at PEERtrainer we soft pedal what we do. But this is something we are doing well, and for many people it is the most important thing in their life that they can be working on.

When we help people to make better decisions for the rest of their life, the ripple effect that has is powerful. Frankly, if you are struggling with food and then do the work to gain control, there is almost nothing in life you cannot successfully tackle. The belief that you develop in yourself will be the new fuel that you can use in all parts of your life.

-Jackie 

P.S. One more thing I want to add here. Joshua wrote a book about emotional eating based entirely on what he saw in the PEERtrainer community, and we turned it into a downloadable digital guide. We sell it for $27, but we thought it made sense to offer it free to people who have opened this email and read the whole message for the next two days or so. If you are still reading this particular email, we have said something that has resonated with you.

Even if you decide to opt out of the program during the $1 month one trial period, Joshua's guide to emotional eating is yours to keep. The book is 175 pages, so there is a LOT in there to digest. Lots of ideas.

When you sign up via this link for the program, you will be sent the book in three days. There is a lot we throw at you, and we want to make sure you get acclimated.

http://www.peertrainer.com/coaching

Do You Feel Like It's Too Late For You To Get What You Want?

By Jackie Wicks, PEERtrainer Co-Founder

Last night I was talking to someone about some of the stuff I had been reading recently in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." I had read this book before many years ago, and for some reason decided to pick it back up. (I'm very glad I did, and the reason for this post is to share something from that with you.)

I was really excited about a particular exercise that helps you figure out what you really want in life. It had a deep impact on me personally and I wanted to share this great insight.

This person mentioned that she had tried the book years ago but she just couldn't get into it.

But curiosity got the best of her. "Ok, tell me, tell me, I want to do the exercise you are talking about."

So I said here is the exercise, "You've just arrived at a close friend's funeral. You look around and you see a lot of your friend's family, mutual friends you've known over the years. Maybe you see some people from their job.

And some people they've played bridge with, or maybe tennis. You're filled with an emotional charge in the room and you move towards the casket. You look down and you see your own face."

The author asks you, "Now think deeply. What would like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of daughter? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?

What character would you like them to have seen in you? Look carefully around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? As you answer some of these questions, you see what personally drives you and how you want to live.

Then I said, "Isn't this just wild? It's so powerful".

She responded by saying "That's nice. It's just really not for me."

I was shocked. I thought, how could this not be for you? This was one of the fastest ways I've seen to get to the core of who you are without having to actually go through a life-changing event.

Then I realized, oh. This must be too heavy. To actually contemplate your death.

But her answer was totally unexpected.

She said, "It's too late for me. There's no point in doing this. Maybe 20 years ago. But it's too late."

I was stunned at this answer, and I just felt the tears coming out of my eyes.

I thought, how could she think this way? How can I help her change her perspective? I see people change their lives every day at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, even 80.

Every single day.

Every day, I see someone get out of pain. I see someone change the entire course of their lives. I see 45 year olds with better bodies than they had before they were pregnant. Forget before they were pregnant, better than they had just out of college.

I see 50 year olds run marathons after only starting to run at 48. I literally can feel the excitement jump off the page when someone has lost 10 pounds after trying for 4 years.

So my question to you is this: do you feel like it's too late?

Have you lost all of your drive, really your hope of getting what you want because it's just too late?

I need you to do something today. You have the entire day to do it.

I want you to think of someone, a family member, someone you work with, someone you know who completely defies the notion that it's too late.

If you can't think of anyone, look around when you're on your errands today. It could even be on the grocery line.

You will find someone. I guarantee it.

And it will be the first seed to plant the thought and the belief that it's not too late to get what you want.

-Jackie

PS: Please share your thoughts with us on this PEERtrainer Community Thread:

http://www.peertrainer.com/LoungeCommunityThread.aspx?ForumID=1&ThreadID=171072

Level 5 Leadership: "Humility Of A Very Special Type" and "The Willingness To Endure"

There is a science that studies what makes great leaders tick. At PEERtrainer, we think this is worth paying close attention to. You might not want to be a corporate CEO or a political leader (although I am sure many of you do.) But you can use these ideas in your personal life, with your own goals and challenges. Whether you are totally overhauling your diet or training for your first half marathon, you need to be the leader of yourself. 

The following video is only two minutes, and introduces a very important framework called "Level 5 Leadership." A writer named Jim Collins came up with this concept, which identifies a set of behavior patterns common to many of the world's great leaders. 

Quick Summary Of Level 5 Leadership:

Level 5 leaders posses unwavering resolve, are humble and modest, accept blame and do not seek credit, display a workman like diligence, and posses unyielding self confidence. This last trait is key I think. Not everyone is born with incredible amounts of self-confidence, but everyone can develop it over time. With the right information in your head combined with burning self-confidence you can literally do anything.

 

If you want to read more about this idea, you can download a PDF of the original essay which goes into this concept in detail. You can get it on Amazon and download it instantly. Highly recommended.

 

Weight Watchers Weight Loss Readiness Assessment Tool

Weight Watchers offers a weight loss readiness assessment that asks you a simple question: "are you ready to commit to losing weight?" This has proven to be a very popular tool. Not sure how new this is, but the new Weight Watchers Momentum program does have a much greater focus on the mental aspect of weight loss.

As part of their overall tool set to get you ready to lose weight, they also offer a BMI calculator and a health assessment. The idea is that by highlighting the health risk to one's weight, that can help give you the motivation to sustain long term weight loss. 

What is interesting is that the mental aspect of weight loss can be helped along by changes in your diet. It is a chicken and egg sort of situation, but when you "scratch the CD" of your patterns, it becomes easier to make any change you want.

In essence you need to manufacture your readiness. Which in turn will provide fuel for motivation. It is simple physics if you think about it. Objects are hard to get in motion, but once they are, they are easy to keep in motion.

The key is that you need a good jumpstart to get the object in motion. PEERtrainer has put together three tools that could help you get "in motion" as part of a free weight loss program. You don't need to do all three. Just take a look at the three options, see which one is a fit for you, and give it a try.

The key to readiness is to create it yourself!!!