PEERtrainer

A Simple Tip To Improve The Quality Of Your Life

People often say that thoughts become things- but questions are what help determine our thoughts.

Successful people simply ask better questions. If you ask better questions, you get better answers. When you have better answers, you make better decisions. Better decisions lead to better results.

The quality of your life improves.

Now, you may be thinking, "ok that makes sense, but how do I do this?" We will tell you!

You have often heard the suggestion or saying "ask and ye shall receive." It's true.

Think for a second about something you want and what you are willing to do to get that.

Maybe ask a question that will put you in a better mood in an instant- what are you happy, proud, grateful, excited about? 

Once you are in a better mood you can then really start to focus on what you want.

An Exercise/Process To Help You Ask Better Questions:

• Set out to ask four questions about that thing that you want.
• What is in your way?
• How are you limiting yourself?
• What can get you to that goal?
• Who can help you?

Asking questions can get you anything you want. When you ask the right questions, and write them down you then have a plan. When you have a plan, you have instantly increased the odds that you will get what you what. Or at a minimum you will have increased your belief in your ability to get what you want.

We do a lot work at PEERtrainer to help people increase their belief in their ability to gain control of their health and energy for the long term. Our focus is to help you gain hope, increase your optimism. What is interesting about this focus is that you can get to this point, and start nurturing this, without sticking to a stringent plan.

Someone yesterday posted this comment on our Facebook Wall:

"I'm on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. But I can't stay on the program. It seems... I keep nibbling at night and sometimes I want to binge eat."

Our whole point, and something that we keep coming back to over and over and over is that for many people when they can't "stay on the program" it leads to some very destructive behaviors. We tell people to think in terms of "tools" and not "programs."

You want to gather as big a set of tools as you can, you want to think long term, and you MUST go easy on yourself.

To use an academic term, our "thesis" is to think about your path to health and energy in terms of a journey. Step one is to simply commit to being on it. You don't need to achieve total mastery right out of the gate. That's nuts!

In this journey you also want to have an objective. We use the term "Point Of No Return" because it is so helpful to have some sort of objective. To us, the objective of this term is to get to a place where you are in a lot more control.

It is GREAT place to be, and WORTH the work it takes to get there.

People have responded to this concept, and really embraced it. If you think about it, so many traditional diet approaches are akin to pushing a beach ball under water. Obviously the ball will bounce right back up.

But when you think in terms of the journey, you break it down into a small series of adjustments. This changes your whole mindset. Maybe an email comes to you with an article with an idea, just like this one, and you get back on track. Or you try a new adjustment. But you enjoy it.

For those of you who are just "following along at home" you can nurture this same sense of of hope and belief. Even if you do just one thing a day or a week, you will remain on the journey.

Introducing The PEERtrainer Success Index:

Want to measure your success? Take this simple quiz right now. When you do, success tips will follow, over time:

http://success.peertrainer.com   <====CLICK HERE TO TAKE QUIZ

You will get there. We promise!

 

PS, If you found this post inspiring or helpful, this article is related and can help you build upon this idea.

Related articles

How To Make A Yummy Breakfast Shake That Keeps You Full Till 1PM

How To Slow Digestion, Making You Feel Fuller And More Nourished

"Why Have I Allowed Myself To Gain This Much?" (6 Reasons This Might Be True For You)

8 Causes Of Female Hair Loss (And What You Can Do About It!)

What Successful Weight Loss REALLY Looks Like

Hint: It's not the weekly 7 - 20 pound loss you see on reality television!

We tend to see the same thing over and over at PEERtrainer: people can actually be on a successful weight loss track, but because they don't KNOW what a successful track looks like, they think they are failing.

Once they believe they have screwed up, then they say "screw it" and really screw up. If only they knew how well they were doing! While success does depend on your specific goals, starting point, body type and regimen, there are a few things that are consistent across the board. Once you measure your weekly weigh in against this checklist, you'll know if you're on the right track.

1. Weight loss does NOT come in the form of losing 2 pounds every week until you reach your goal, no matter how well you've stuck to your food and exercise plan.

When you were gaining, you didn't gain 2 pounds every single week in a measured fashion. You're not going to lose it in a measured fashion no matter how well you stick to your plan.  You might lose 2 pounds one week.  You might even lose three pounds in a week.  Then, you might lose 1 pound the next week.

Some weeks you might lose zero and there are weeks you even gain.  These weeks are the most frustrating and we all have these kinds of weeks where we feel like we're doing everything right and the scale doesn't give us what we want.

Keep track of the weekly weigh-ins but take a look at the month and see the overall trend. You might have gained a 1/2 pound one of the weeks but take note if you lost 4 pounds overall for the month. If the month is trending downwards, you are in the right place.  

2. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time.

Sure, there are a few people that are perfect.  I haven't seen them but I'm sure they're out there.  There are also a few people who can eat 3000 calories a day and have a perfect figure and that's just the way it goes. Just because you went out drinking and ate all the bread, stuffed your face with pasta, and had 2 desserts, and then woke up and had a cheese omelet the next day does not mean you have failed.

Everyone does this.

We all make a committment and we all slip up.  Just like Vince Lombardi says, it's not if you fall, it's if you get back up. You fell. So what? Learn what will work for you to get back on track. You can fall and still be on a successful weight loss track by simply making the decision to get back there.

3. You've been doing everything right and you're not losing anything. (aka The Dreaded Plateau)

We rarely see members who don't hit a plateau in the weight loss process. Some can last for a few weeks. I was on one for an entire year!

It's so easy to say to yourself, "I'm doing everything right so this is where my weight should be."  That might be true, but it might not be true. It wasn't for me. Once I changed my approach and made the decision to be thinner, no matter how long that would take, I dropped the weight. I increased the nutrients. I changed my exercise approach. I kept the principles of optimism by Martin Seligman in mind. Plateaus do not mean you are done. They are usually a sign that you need to make a change. Do you have the courage to figure it out and keep on going?

Keep in mind that a real weight loss track of ordinary fluctuations are boring to watch. The double digit weekly losses you see have to be created somehow, which is why it's television. Sometimes the loss is real and lasting. Many times, the weight loss results are usually over once the 6 week "sprint" has come to an end.

Real life is more like a marathon, some miles are effortless, some are excruciating and the only way you really fail is if you quit.

Jackie

How To Be More Powerfully In Control Of Your Choices By Living Without Apology

We were recently sent the following question:

"I feel like I'm always apologizing for everything. I apologize when I order a salad instead of a cheeseburger by always saying, well I have a big event coming up, so I really need to watch what I’m eating".

I see other people do this as well. They "apologize" for their order with this: "I'm ordering a salad with grilled chicken because you should see what I ate last night! Margaritas, chips and salsa - I must have eaten three bowls of chips alone!" Why say anything?

It's everyone's dream to live without apology but no matter how many quotes we see, we take a step in that direction and we get hit so hard with a snarky comment that we go back to making excuses and "living with apology". How do you start to have the confidence - what is the first step to living life without apology?"

Joshua Wayne has created a detailed response to this question. Here is his answer:

http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_live_without_apology.aspx

Do You Feel As If You Are Truly Capable Of Losing Weight?

This is something we emailed out Sunday, May 2nd: We are working on a "mission statement" at PEERtrainer, and in the process trying to hone in on "the thing we do best." It is a tough question to answer because we do a lot of things in response to the needs of different people.

From Habib's perspective the thing we do best is simply foster communication and conversation. Ideally we ask questions in a way that really gets you thinking.

Joshua Wayne is focused on the coaching aspect of PEERtrainer, and his response was very interesting. We had asked him "what is the single thing we do best with the coaching program and what have been the results?"

As an exercise this Sunday, read his response, and then think for a few moments about the question asked in the subject of this email:

"One of the key things we have set out to accomplish, from my perspective, is helping people feel like they are in control of their relationship to food so they can get where they want to go.

Feeling out of control is one of the worst feelings in life. Desperately wanting something, like to lose weight, and not feeling capable of getting there is a terrible feeling. Feeling like you'll always be overwhelmed by your lousy habits and that you'll never really be in control of them. Feeling like no matter how hard you try, and no matter how many times you try, that your negative emotions will ultimately derail you. These feelings build and build and build which leads to hopelessness.

So one of our main goals was to help people get back in control. One of the key ways we do that is to teach them to start being easy on themselves - not beating themselves up endlessly. People add insult to injury when they beat themselves up after they "screw up" on their diet. We see that many people have this "perfectionist"streak and we start to break that up by teaching them to be patient with themselves.

Simultaneously we're giving them REALLY good diet info. Not fad type stuff - in fact exactly the opposite. We help them lay the foundation for healthy, sustainable lifestyle change.

We also really embed this whole program smack dab in the middle of their lives too. This is crucial. We're not forcing them to create an alternate reality in their life where they can get healthy. They have to be able to do it in the middle of the crazy day with job, boss, kids, husband/wife because that's their reality and that's where they live.

If they have to attend to all that stuff, AND THEN have to go and carve out time for 3 elaborate meals per day (plus all the shopping and prep) so they can eat pistacio- crusted tilapia with carmelized onion asparagus consomme for dinner it's just not going to happen. Same with the exercise piece. It has to be centrally located in their life.

Not an alternate reality where they have to now squeeze 5 trips to the gym into their life.

Building on that, they have to be able to deal with: work dinners out, frenemies sabotaging them, the "crappy" food inertia of their family when they go home to visit. All that comes up and you have to have a "tool-kit" to deal with it. We give them that tool-kit.

Lastly, we provide consistent support. We're there for 12 weeks, at least a couple times a week. Sometimes with an email saying hi and a friendly reminder to look at the bright side, sometimes with a video or an article and of course the weekly calls.

Everyone needs consistency to make things happen, whether it's building a business, making a relationship work well or losing weight. We provide that consistent support which helps people internalize this optimism and get back to that place of self-control.

Fostering self-control is the key."

I thought that this was a very helpful observation for us, and a great question to ask everyone. This "Tip Of The Day" list that you are reading right now is designed to communicate with you and get you thinking.

And if you are one of those people looking to get in control, I would highly encourage you to try the first month of the Point Of No Return, and let Joshua work some of his magic. We often find ourselves "soft-selling" his work, but as we go through all the feedback from people who finish the program we see that he is very good at accomplishing his objective.

This isn't the kind of situation where we are promising this crazy quick weight loss. This is the complete opposite of all that. Joshua helps you take a step back, and helps you examine all of your assumptions.

At the core it is really about your relationship to yourself. So often at PEERtrainer we soft pedal what we do. But this is something we are doing well, and for many people it is the most important thing in their life that they can be working on.

When we help people to make better decisions for the rest of their life, the ripple effect that has is powerful. Frankly, if you are struggling with food and then do the work to gain control, there is almost nothing in life you cannot successfully tackle. The belief that you develop in yourself will be the new fuel that you can use in all parts of your life.

-Jackie 

P.S. One more thing I want to add here. Joshua wrote a book about emotional eating based entirely on what he saw in the PEERtrainer community, and we turned it into a downloadable digital guide. We sell it for $27, but we thought it made sense to offer it free to people who have opened this email and read the whole message for the next two days or so. If you are still reading this particular email, we have said something that has resonated with you.

Even if you decide to opt out of the program during the $1 month one trial period, Joshua's guide to emotional eating is yours to keep. The book is 175 pages, so there is a LOT in there to digest. Lots of ideas.

When you sign up via this link for the program, you will be sent the book in three days. There is a lot we throw at you, and we want to make sure you get acclimated.

http://www.peertrainer.com/coaching

"Why Am I Not Losing Weight??"

Hi There-

 

We have been sharing some older articles from Joshua Wayne recently where he shares some of his "mind secrets." Please keep the feedback coming- we know we are really connecting with this.

 

Today we pleased to tell you about a new article that we have from him that we just published on the site. We hope you enjoy it:

 

http://www.peertrainer.com/why_you_are_not_losing_weight.aspx

 

 

We also just uploaded a new video from the series I did with Dr. Joel Fuhrman. In this video he starts to answer the question: "is is better to eat raw or cooked vegetables?"

 

This is an increasingly common question, and as usual Dr. Fuhrman has a unique insight into this subject because of the deep amount of research and study he has done in the field of nutrition.

 

Just below the video is part of an article he wrote where he goes into much greater depth about the raw vs cooked debate. Very interesting:

 

http://blog.peertrainer.com/health/2010/03/is-it-better-to-eat-raw-vegetables-or-cooked-vegetables-dr-joel-fuhrman-gives-his-perspective.html

 

 

-Jackie

 

 PS- we continue to get a lot of feedback and insight from the articles we have been focusing on. This blog post contains an email we got from a reader with a very good tip on how to indentify and fight the foods that sabotage your efforts:

 

http://blog.peertrainer.com/tip_of_the_day/2010/03/interesting-strategy-to-combat-weight-loss-sabotaging-foods.html

 

 

 

Is Your Addiction To Normality Killing You?

Hi There-

This is something Habib has wanted to write for a while.....

One of the most important things to understand from the current health care debate (that political and industry insiders are engaged in among themselves) is that no matter what the eventual outcome, people are going to need to have to take responsibility for their health.

We have come to a point where it is no longer a good idea to improve your eating. It is an absolute requirement.

It does not matter whether it is the government, employers or individuals who end up carrying the load. We have built a food delivery system and consumption habits that lead to the highest rates of heart disease, cancer and diabetes in the world.

Diabetes alone is larger than the entire US tech industry. You stack Intel, Microsoft, Cisco and Apple up.

Diabetes is bigger.

What most of us think of as “normal” is killing us.

Not only is it killing us, but it seems that we now think of pain and struggle as somehow “normal”. We get the most incredible emails from people, describing to us the sheer agony of the reality of their lives. People are in pain, they feel hopeless and they have for years. And they are in this pain because they have done what everyone else has done.

This pain hurts, it sucks and is totally preventable.

But the change required to prevent these inevitable outcomes (for most) is hard. If most people are doing things one way, it stands to reason that that it takes a deal of effort to do things differently. We continually see that the people with the greatest willingness to go in a different direction have no idea where to turn.

If you have been around PEERtrainer for a while you know we present people that we get to know. People like Stu Mittleman and Joel Fuhrman are now friends of ours, in the same way that the guys I did keg stands in college with are. They are part of the posse.

And we share their ideas because they help guide people to the behaviors and mindsets that will help avoid the diseases that commonly trap the average American engaged in the relentless pursuit of normality.

So what I am going to do here is bullet out some of the key ideas that Dr. Joel Fuhrman puts forth to help people. I have a copy of Eat For Health open on my desk as I write this, and I am going to list out 25 of the key concepts. In no particular order. My thinking is that it takes a long time to process change. As Jackie says over and over, “repetition is the mother of skill.”

1. Greens are king. Green vegetables get the majority of their calories from protein. You need to eat them every day.
2. When you consume greens in the form of soup you retain the nutrients and you can make them taste any way you want. No excuses here- tasty, easy, cheap etc. (Blend with a Cuisinart Smart Stick to make it super easy)
3. Fresh fruits fight cancer. We have a natural sweet tooth designed to direct us to those foods most critical for our survival.
4. Pasta and bread, while cheap and filling are associated with heart disease, diabetes and obesity.
5. Veggies are great but you have to cook, pulverize or blend to get at the health promoting goodies that is locked inside the cell walls. Blended vegetable soup is better than salad for this reason. You can’t chew every plant cell.
6. Not all foods are created equally. Dr. Fuhrman has built an entire food classification system called MANDI that you can learn more about.
7. True hunger is much different than the hunger we commonly experience. We are hungry because we eat the wrong foods. This is not something that can be solved in any pill. It is solved in your grocery store and your kitchen.
8. When you are no longer hungry all the time you are healthy.
9. Cheese and butter are evil. Tasty, but evil.
10. The more high nutrient food (greens esp) you eat on a daily basis, the higher your quality of life.
11. Binge eating is largely a byproduct of toxic hunger. We are literally “addicted to food.”
12. Eat a bowl of vegetable-bean soup daily
13. Eat a pound of fruit and a pound of vegetables a day. (Stu would dissent on the fruit part- he is of the school that fruit is too high in sugar and raises acid levels in the body)
14. You can change your tastes. Americans in particular have a “brute force palate.” You will appreciate the subtlety of food over time.
15. Healthy food does not taste bad.
16. Heart disease is not the inevitable consepuence of aging.
17. Food addiction is a real thing, and a new mode of eating will solve this problem
18. Frequent small meals do NOT aid weight control long term.
19. It is not your genes. The numbers disprove this common assertion.
20. It takes a lot more than milk and yogurt to build healthy bones. The truth is much more complex.
21. You have to get inside your head to make these changes. A list like this is not enough.
22. 85 Percent of Americans will die from heart disease, cancer or diabetes.
23. 90 Percent will get high blood pressure
24. Cardiovascular disease is responsible for 40 percent of US deaths annually
25. You can prevent most diseases through a high nutrient diet.

Sounds easy enough? The problem that we see is that people have a hard time putting these ideas into practice. They also often lack the ability to map the consequences of their current diet to future risk.

Most of us think we eat better than we do. Much better. So if you have found the motivation to jump right into to a new diet and buck the trend of the relentless disbelief that “normal is killing us” then congrats.

Others of us need a much more specific plan and guidelines in the place of simple suggestions. Recently Joel and his team launched a new program called “The Nutrition Prescription” which is an online version of an office visit with him. After you take this survey, you are presented with the specific odds of getting diseases like heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

We have seen that this test “scares people straight” and also has the interesting effect of providing ammunition for the people who are often hellbent on disrupting your desire to change. We see that when people say, “hey I have to order the soup and salad- doctors orders”- this shuts people up. If you are at a party or out to dinner or dealing with your parents or friends and you say “right now the odds of me getting heart disease is 65%”- they have to basically keep quiet.

Of course they are dying to make a snide comment. But because a doctor has spoken, the conversation is over. Many of you have bought copies of Eat For Health and Eat To Live. We highly recommend Joel’s work, and have for years. The response has been powerful and consistent. If you are interested in his new program or you have not yet picked up one of his books, you can check out the following link:

Get A Virtual Office Visit With Dr. Fuhrman, Trial Offer

We could not endorse his work more strongly. This is true health care reform from my perspective.

Habib Wicks, PEERtrainer Co-Founder

Conversation With Matt Hoover, Winner of Biggest Loser Season Two

We had a chance to interview Matt Hoover who many of you know as the winner of season two of "The Biggest Loser." It ended up being a pretty interesting interview, especially from the perspective of keeping weight off, what happens after the weight loss. He talks about his upcoming Iron Man competition in Hawaii and his training for the 2012 Olympics. He was a member of 4 national championship wrestling teams in college, so the guy is a pretty amazing athlete.

We spoke for about an hour, so if you want to listen to the entire interview map out some time ahead of time. This is the link to the interview. It is pretty cool.

Matt mentioned in the call that he uses hypnosis as one of the tools to help keep the weight off. He uses the CDs from Roberta Temes, who we have known for a few years and who has written some articles for PEERtrainer in the past. We asked him to follow up on this subject, something we are increasingly interested in, because it works really well. But it is something that most of us have not tried. Here is his take on it:

"To be honest I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  I had used hypnosis when I was competing in wrestling.  It helped me tremendously in sports but wasn't sure what would happen with weight loss. When I got Dr. Roberta CD's I did a session immediately.  

I didn't really feel different, but  I quickly noticed that many of the cravings I had, especially for Taco Bell were gone.  I didn't even think about it anymore. The biggest thing I notice was how rather than crave diet pop, I began to want water.  The sessions helped me to realize that I didn't have to be on a diet, I could program myself to crave healthy foods in moderation. In the past I would eat until I was full, even if it was healthy food.  

Now I eat until I am satisfied and I don't have to "force" myself to remamber to eat.  I just do it. I used the CD's nearly everyday when I first got them, now I use them a couple of times a month to remind myself of the tools I now have. Recently I used them before I left for vacation to help keep myself in the right state of mind to be consistent during a time when many people fall off track.  I use them anytime I am traveling, usually on the plane.  I have found that to be a great time to relax and get myself ready for my upcoming stay, wherever that may be. 

I am really lucky because my wife really supports my use of the program.  She will say when she thinks I need a session.  She has seen tremendous progress since I started the program and knows that it helps me to stay on track. I have lost 30 pounds so far and have reset my goal to get even leaner using Dr. Roberta's CD's. I love the CD's and have recommended them to everyone I know who is dealing with weight issues.  I know that with the success I have had that others will achieve their goals as well with the use of the tools I have learned from Dr. Roberta. These discs truly have helped me to develop a healthy mind set when it comes to my relationship with food and I fully expect to have continued success on my new weight loss journey with the knowledge I have gained from Dr. Roberta Temes."

We were first introduced to Roberta I think in 2006, and we need to circle back with her. We have recommended this product in the Tip Of The Day program, and it is nice to see a "celebrity" endorse something like this. Sort of a nice validation of something we had seen work. You can get the CD set through the Hypnosis Network. 

Btw, I personally use hypnosis for other areas of my life. Different products from different companies, but the bottom line is that these things really work. Be open to it!

Lose Weight By Writing Down What Is Great About You

The other evening I was watching The Real Housewives of New York City and one of the housewives, Luann, was participating in a workshop alongside several young teenage women.  The session was about Building Self Confidence and one of the tasks was to write down everything you liked about yourself. 

As I was watching it, I thought, I haven't done that in a long time.  I hadn't focused on my positive qualities or strengths since I had an interview in 2001!  And even then, I focused on my strengths that were specific to the position.

After I got over 3 second conversation in my head that went something like, "This is so cheesy.  Why am I even thinking about doing this?",  I opened up word and started writing without editing.  I just wrote and wrote and wrote about everything I liked about myself.

A few from my list:

- I can follow through and I did to lose 60 pounds

- I love that I can easily identify number patterns and can understand a spreadsheet and chart quickly

- I make an effort to constantly learn and improve no matter how uncomfortable or tough it is

I felt amazing after making the list!  What's interesting though is that this list has become a living thing.  I keep it on a sticky on my laptop screen where it catches my eye at random times.  It's like having a jolt of energy all throughout the day.

I want you to make your list.  If you were always taught that bragging is unattractive or self deprecation is a virtue, do it anyway!!  Just like a workout, you'll feel great afterwards.

After you do complete your list, make sure you review this article about How To Change Anything. 

Jackie

"Strength For My Mind And Spirit"

We just got a very profound email from one of the members of the PEERtrainer community, and I thought it would be helpful to share some of the comments. It is an excellent articulation of the value of our Point Of No Return concept, and helps to show that we are able to deliver on the central premise with both our Tip of The Day And Point Of No Return Program:

"The things I am learning from the 'tip of the day' and also the 'point of no return intensive' is what makes me think that this will be the time that matters....the time I can reach my goals. I realize that there will be no more "times" after this because over the past 2.5 months my whole life has started to change."

This is really the whole point. Most of us have been through things like Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, South Beach. We own copies of Dr. Oz's books. We have Oprah Magazine sitting in our bathrooms and living rooms. Yet we don't make the progress we desire and we don't become the person we want to become.

We built the PEERtrainer coaching program with this problem in mind, and engaged with a talented therapist who is familiar with both the mind- and the spirit. And the email contained a great recognition of that, that we help move people to a different way of thinking about themselves which can trigger immense personal change:

"I knew how to get an awesome workout....I knew how to eat to lose weight....what I needed all these years is the strength for my mind and my spirit....all the tips and exercises and thoughts that I am totally addicted to now! Health and weight loss is not just a physical journey and I am so happy that I finally realize this."

This was one of the best emails we have ever received at PEERtrainer, and are very grateful for it.

A Great, Focused Goal As A First Step Towards Weight Loss

In the PEERtrainer Tip of The Day email (sign up here, it's free), I often ask, what is the one thing that "trips you up"?  Meaning, what is one thing you could give up for the next seven days that you KNOW will help you towards weight loss and get you on the right track? 

Two responses I've received in the last week were great examples of "bite-sized" goals that are doable and a great step in the right direction;

1.  Jackie:

There is a vending machine at work with snacks for sale. I have to walk
past it to get a coffee, tea or glass of water. Most days I will stop
and look at what is available. More often that not I will buy something
and this can be twice daily.

 It is my intention to focus beyond this machine without stopping or
purchasing.

2.   Jackie,

One of the things that has been tripping me up is eating chocolate.....buying the
dark chocolate and thinking it is healthy and allowing myself to nibble on that way
too much.? I need to realize I'm kidding myself.? I shouldn't even go there because
I can't control it.? So I am going to concentrate on saying "No" to chocolate
because it really adds up.? No to buying and No to eating chocolate!

Thanks!

These are good focused goals that are achievable without being overwhelming.  We talk more about goals and how to finally believe weight loss is possible in our coaching program as well.

Other good examples include "skip the bread basket at lunch every time I eat out this week" or "no donuts at work!"  The very first thing I did was give up my bacon egg and cheese sandwiches in the morning.  Hard but worth it;  from there I went on to habit after habit until I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  Let me know what you commit to this week!

Jackie

Weight Watchers Weight Loss Readiness Assessment Tool

Weight Watchers offers a weight loss readiness assessment that asks you a simple question: "are you ready to commit to losing weight?" This has proven to be a very popular tool. Not sure how new this is, but the new Weight Watchers Momentum program does have a much greater focus on the mental aspect of weight loss.

As part of their overall tool set to get you ready to lose weight, they also offer a BMI calculator and a health assessment. The idea is that by highlighting the health risk to one's weight, that can help give you the motivation to sustain long term weight loss. 

What is interesting is that the mental aspect of weight loss can be helped along by changes in your diet. It is a chicken and egg sort of situation, but when you "scratch the CD" of your patterns, it becomes easier to make any change you want.

In essence you need to manufacture your readiness. Which in turn will provide fuel for motivation. It is simple physics if you think about it. Objects are hard to get in motion, but once they are, they are easy to keep in motion.

The key is that you need a good jumpstart to get the object in motion. PEERtrainer has put together three tools that could help you get "in motion" as part of a free weight loss program. You don't need to do all three. Just take a look at the three options, see which one is a fit for you, and give it a try.

The key to readiness is to create it yourself!!!

Slights, Real and Perceived : Tips On How To Develop A Tough Skin

If you've ever been called thin-skinned, touchy, prickly, defensive or asked about the chip on your shoulder, this post is for you.  I think we've all experienced a time when someone has said something or done something and you start thinking, "what's that about"?

Many people let it roll right off their back but some of us spend hours, even days ruminating the incident over and over, trying to make sense of it.

The feeling of being slighted is sometimes very real but sometimes it wasn't real at all, it's only in your mind.  It's hard to go through life being prickly all day but more importantly, it's hard to succeed:  if you think that your boss was trying to embarrass you in front of the entire team, how can you possibly use your creativity and skills in a productive way?  

You could be right.  Maybe you're being slighted. Maybe you need to ask yourself about the situations you're in and develop the courage to change them.  But chances are that your boss might be under  pressure to make sure the numbers are there so you can keep your job, and just doesn't have time to always be thinking about your feelings.

Here's the truth: people don't like dealing with prickly people.  It's always a chore, no matter how smart, engaging, hilarious they are, it still becomes "something you have to deal with" and more often than not, people will choose not to deal with it unless they have to. 

Being prickly could be closing you off from opportunities at work, with friends, but really be preventing love, making money, and ultimately be preventing you from happiness.  

If you're touchy about your weight, even those around you trying to help you will be perceived as trying to slight you and you could be shutting off the help you need to get your life under control. 

But the real question is this:  how do you toughen up? Follow these basic rules and you'll see the feelings of being slighted be lessened and eventually minimized and redefined to conversations that happen throughout the day.

1.  It's not about you.  It really isn't.  If you're friend is snappish and seems to have a disregard about your feelings, you have to remember to consider the source.  She could be going through something and not telling you.  Her boyfriend could be hinting that he's breaking up with her but she's not telling you and her anxiety is coming out in different ways. 

When you're thinking everything is about you, it's similar to the development stage of a 2 year old, when the world does revolve around you and only you.  Most of the time it's about something other than you.

2. Simply ask.  Nothing can bring more relief than a simple question of "What did you mean"?  Now if you ask that question with hidden rage, you're most likely going to draw out ire or even create ire!  A simple approach of what did you mean, with a calm voice could show you exactly why that slight was a perceived slight, and not even close to what you were thinking.

3.  Ask yourself, "Why does it bother you so much?" Asking yourself this question will surface old memories that you thought were buried, but they are very much at the forefront of your every day life masking themselves and transforming into new ways to feel slighted. 

What do I mean by this?  If your boss asks you if you've finished the project you're working on, and you feel your blood boil with thoughts rushing through your head such as I've been working day and night!  Doesn't he see how hard I'm working?  You need to ask yourself the question, "Why does this bother me so much?"  He's probably just asking because he needs to report to someone else. 

Who used to ask you if you were finished?  Why is it bringing about such heightened feelings? 

4.  It's not always what you think.  Maybe a good friend of yours is having a dinner party and you haven't heard about it.  A day or two goes by and you've now heard about it from a  few of your mutual friends.  They're are talking about it and what they're going to wear and you start to think, I can't believe I wasn't invited!  Is my friend mad at me?  What is going on? 

You start to think of all the conversations you've had over the past month and try to figure out what you could have said or did.  You start to get angry, then hurt.  Meanwhile, this entire time, she told people about the dinner party by email and your email "invite" went into your spam box that you didn't even check.  

5.  Check your physical state.  Are you tired?  Are you hungry?  Do you need to get your energy out and go for a run?  These can all have an effect on how you deal with being slighted. 

Working out is a great coping mechanism to clear your head and give you clarity about a situation and discover different angles and reasons for why something happened.  If you feel yourself getting annoyed or angry, have a quick mental check in about how much sleep you had over the last few days and if you skipped breakfast.

If you found this post helpful, you will also find our article "How To Live Without Apology" of interest!