PEERtrainer

A Simple Tip To Improve The Quality Of Your Life

People often say that thoughts become things- but questions are what help determine our thoughts.

Successful people simply ask better questions. If you ask better questions, you get better answers. When you have better answers, you make better decisions. Better decisions lead to better results.

The quality of your life improves.

Now, you may be thinking, "ok that makes sense, but how do I do this?" We will tell you!

You have often heard the suggestion or saying "ask and ye shall receive." It's true.

Think for a second about something you want and what you are willing to do to get that.

Maybe ask a question that will put you in a better mood in an instant- what are you happy, proud, grateful, excited about? 

Once you are in a better mood you can then really start to focus on what you want.

An Exercise/Process To Help You Ask Better Questions:

• Set out to ask four questions about that thing that you want.
• What is in your way?
• How are you limiting yourself?
• What can get you to that goal?
• Who can help you?

Asking questions can get you anything you want. When you ask the right questions, and write them down you then have a plan. When you have a plan, you have instantly increased the odds that you will get what you what. Or at a minimum you will have increased your belief in your ability to get what you want.

We do a lot work at PEERtrainer to help people increase their belief in their ability to gain control of their health and energy for the long term. Our focus is to help you gain hope, increase your optimism. What is interesting about this focus is that you can get to this point, and start nurturing this, without sticking to a stringent plan.

Someone yesterday posted this comment on our Facebook Wall:

"I'm on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. But I can't stay on the program. It seems... I keep nibbling at night and sometimes I want to binge eat."

Our whole point, and something that we keep coming back to over and over and over is that for many people when they can't "stay on the program" it leads to some very destructive behaviors. We tell people to think in terms of "tools" and not "programs."

You want to gather as big a set of tools as you can, you want to think long term, and you MUST go easy on yourself.

To use an academic term, our "thesis" is to think about your path to health and energy in terms of a journey. Step one is to simply commit to being on it. You don't need to achieve total mastery right out of the gate. That's nuts!

In this journey you also want to have an objective. We use the term "Point Of No Return" because it is so helpful to have some sort of objective. To us, the objective of this term is to get to a place where you are in a lot more control.

It is GREAT place to be, and WORTH the work it takes to get there.

People have responded to this concept, and really embraced it. If you think about it, so many traditional diet approaches are akin to pushing a beach ball under water. Obviously the ball will bounce right back up.

But when you think in terms of the journey, you break it down into a small series of adjustments. This changes your whole mindset. Maybe an email comes to you with an article with an idea, just like this one, and you get back on track. Or you try a new adjustment. But you enjoy it.

For those of you who are just "following along at home" you can nurture this same sense of of hope and belief. Even if you do just one thing a day or a week, you will remain on the journey.

Introducing The PEERtrainer Success Index:

Want to measure your success? Take this simple quiz right now. When you do, success tips will follow, over time:

http://success.peertrainer.com   <====CLICK HERE TO TAKE QUIZ

You will get there. We promise!

 

PS, If you found this post inspiring or helpful, this article is related and can help you build upon this idea.

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How To Stop The Pain While Running?

I am constantly hearing about how painful running is.  It's been one of the most popular threads in our community for months.  Even in US magazine this month, Kate Gosselin was quoted as saying, "I run every day.  It's painful".  

I find most people think that pain is synonmous with running and believe if you're going to run, you're going to have to be disciplined and deal with the pain.

This is simply not true. 

You can be in pain if you feel that makes you feel better about yourself and makes you a true runner.  But you don't have to be.  You can run a mile, 3 miles even a 10k, even a marathon without pain.

I watch people do this all the time on PEERtrainer.  What is the secret?  They follow a different philosophy shared by Stu Mittleman and other athletes, even 6 time Ironman Champion Mark Allen.

Stu ran 1000 miles in 10 days.  That's every day, for 10 days straight.  He ran 100 miles a day.  Just to give you a sense of what the Hawaii Ironman is:  from the wikipedia entry:

"The Hawai Ironman consisting of a 2.4-mile (3.86 km) swim, a 112-mile (180.25 km) bike and a marathon (26 miles 385 yards, 42.195 km) run, raced in that order and without a break. Most Ironman events have a strict time limit of 17 hours to complete the race, where the Ironman race starts at 7 AM, the mandatory swim cut off for the 2.4 mile swim is 2 hours 20 minutes, the bike cut off time is 5:30 PM, and all finishers must complete their marathon by midnight."

 

Mark Allen won this event 6 times.  He did it by following the principles of Dr. Phil Maffetone.  Stu incorporated these same principles and explains them so succinctly in "Slow Burn: Burn Fat Faster By Exercising Slower".  This book by Phil Maffetone is in my library as well.  You don't have to grind it out.  You don't have to be in pain.  Unless of course you insist on it.   But then, it becomes your choice. 

You can get both books used for a total of $10.  Small price to pay to get rid of the pain.

• Slow Burn: Burn Fat Faster By Exercising Slower

• The Maffetone Method

Let me know if you get them.

Jackie

 

 

 

How To Be More Powerfully In Control Of Your Choices By Living Without Apology

We were recently sent the following question:

"I feel like I'm always apologizing for everything. I apologize when I order a salad instead of a cheeseburger by always saying, well I have a big event coming up, so I really need to watch what I’m eating".

I see other people do this as well. They "apologize" for their order with this: "I'm ordering a salad with grilled chicken because you should see what I ate last night! Margaritas, chips and salsa - I must have eaten three bowls of chips alone!" Why say anything?

It's everyone's dream to live without apology but no matter how many quotes we see, we take a step in that direction and we get hit so hard with a snarky comment that we go back to making excuses and "living with apology". How do you start to have the confidence - what is the first step to living life without apology?"

Joshua Wayne has created a detailed response to this question. Here is his answer:

http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_live_without_apology.aspx

Do You Feel As If You Are Truly Capable Of Losing Weight?

This is something we emailed out Sunday, May 2nd: We are working on a "mission statement" at PEERtrainer, and in the process trying to hone in on "the thing we do best." It is a tough question to answer because we do a lot of things in response to the needs of different people.

From Habib's perspective the thing we do best is simply foster communication and conversation. Ideally we ask questions in a way that really gets you thinking.

Joshua Wayne is focused on the coaching aspect of PEERtrainer, and his response was very interesting. We had asked him "what is the single thing we do best with the coaching program and what have been the results?"

As an exercise this Sunday, read his response, and then think for a few moments about the question asked in the subject of this email:

"One of the key things we have set out to accomplish, from my perspective, is helping people feel like they are in control of their relationship to food so they can get where they want to go.

Feeling out of control is one of the worst feelings in life. Desperately wanting something, like to lose weight, and not feeling capable of getting there is a terrible feeling. Feeling like you'll always be overwhelmed by your lousy habits and that you'll never really be in control of them. Feeling like no matter how hard you try, and no matter how many times you try, that your negative emotions will ultimately derail you. These feelings build and build and build which leads to hopelessness.

So one of our main goals was to help people get back in control. One of the key ways we do that is to teach them to start being easy on themselves - not beating themselves up endlessly. People add insult to injury when they beat themselves up after they "screw up" on their diet. We see that many people have this "perfectionist"streak and we start to break that up by teaching them to be patient with themselves.

Simultaneously we're giving them REALLY good diet info. Not fad type stuff - in fact exactly the opposite. We help them lay the foundation for healthy, sustainable lifestyle change.

We also really embed this whole program smack dab in the middle of their lives too. This is crucial. We're not forcing them to create an alternate reality in their life where they can get healthy. They have to be able to do it in the middle of the crazy day with job, boss, kids, husband/wife because that's their reality and that's where they live.

If they have to attend to all that stuff, AND THEN have to go and carve out time for 3 elaborate meals per day (plus all the shopping and prep) so they can eat pistacio- crusted tilapia with carmelized onion asparagus consomme for dinner it's just not going to happen. Same with the exercise piece. It has to be centrally located in their life.

Not an alternate reality where they have to now squeeze 5 trips to the gym into their life.

Building on that, they have to be able to deal with: work dinners out, frenemies sabotaging them, the "crappy" food inertia of their family when they go home to visit. All that comes up and you have to have a "tool-kit" to deal with it. We give them that tool-kit.

Lastly, we provide consistent support. We're there for 12 weeks, at least a couple times a week. Sometimes with an email saying hi and a friendly reminder to look at the bright side, sometimes with a video or an article and of course the weekly calls.

Everyone needs consistency to make things happen, whether it's building a business, making a relationship work well or losing weight. We provide that consistent support which helps people internalize this optimism and get back to that place of self-control.

Fostering self-control is the key."

I thought that this was a very helpful observation for us, and a great question to ask everyone. This "Tip Of The Day" list that you are reading right now is designed to communicate with you and get you thinking.

And if you are one of those people looking to get in control, I would highly encourage you to try the first month of the Point Of No Return, and let Joshua work some of his magic. We often find ourselves "soft-selling" his work, but as we go through all the feedback from people who finish the program we see that he is very good at accomplishing his objective.

This isn't the kind of situation where we are promising this crazy quick weight loss. This is the complete opposite of all that. Joshua helps you take a step back, and helps you examine all of your assumptions.

At the core it is really about your relationship to yourself. So often at PEERtrainer we soft pedal what we do. But this is something we are doing well, and for many people it is the most important thing in their life that they can be working on.

When we help people to make better decisions for the rest of their life, the ripple effect that has is powerful. Frankly, if you are struggling with food and then do the work to gain control, there is almost nothing in life you cannot successfully tackle. The belief that you develop in yourself will be the new fuel that you can use in all parts of your life.

-Jackie 

P.S. One more thing I want to add here. Joshua wrote a book about emotional eating based entirely on what he saw in the PEERtrainer community, and we turned it into a downloadable digital guide. We sell it for $27, but we thought it made sense to offer it free to people who have opened this email and read the whole message for the next two days or so. If you are still reading this particular email, we have said something that has resonated with you.

Even if you decide to opt out of the program during the $1 month one trial period, Joshua's guide to emotional eating is yours to keep. The book is 175 pages, so there is a LOT in there to digest. Lots of ideas.

When you sign up via this link for the program, you will be sent the book in three days. There is a lot we throw at you, and we want to make sure you get acclimated.

http://www.peertrainer.com/coaching

This Article Is An Answer To A Prayer!!!

Hi Jackie!!!

This Article is an Answer to a Prayer!!! Literally. I keep a Prayer List
at the Front of My Things To Do Calendar. And, the Last Entry reads to
Teach Me Again Until I Learn It. (Regarding Emotional Upset over Other
People's Comments).

I've always debated whether I'm An Emotional Eater. But, either way I
Thank God for Your Article.

I will Print it and Place it in My Daily Calendar.

Blessings...Sandy.

Stop Beating Yourself Up

I have a friend who has lost at least 15 pounds over the last few months and she looks great. She carries herself differently with a confidence I haven't seen in a long time, she has more energy and she can wear jeans she hasn't worn in over 5 years. 

But instead of being psyched about it, she kept talking about how her family is coming into town next week for thanksgiving and she's still heavier than she's ever been.   She really wanted to lose at least 10 more pounds prior to their visit and she couldn't stop beating herself up about it.

I think we've all experienced this - you have made some progress, you're feeling better and probably looking better than you have in a very long time but you're down on yourself for a variety of reasons.  Most of those reasons aren't rooted in reality but it doesn't matter - the rules you've set up for yourself haven't been met.

I'm here to say this: take today, even just one moment today to just Stop It.  Stop being pissed off at yourself that you only worked out once this week instead of 3 times.  Stop being down on yourself for not running a marathon by the age of 25. 

Stop berating yourself for having way too many slices of pizza last night when you promised yourself that you would not have it, no matter what.  Today, focus on what you have done over the last month that has been positive.  Spend a moment to write down some of the good habits you've developed, no matter how small and insignificant they seem. 

Did you cut down from 2 cups of coffee to one cup of coffee? Did you order a salad at lunch yesterday when it could have just as easily been a plate of wings?  Did you run around at the mall instead of sitting on the couch with a movie? 

All of the small, good habits that you've started to incorporate into your life should be celebrated as accomplishments. You don't just go out and run a marathon one week after you've decided to run one.  You build up to it. You run a mile a few times a week, then a couple of miles in the next weeks, then you build up to long runs on the weekend. 

When you stop beating yourself up you will start to focus on the small, good habits that you've started to build upon. You will see that they will all be your "one" mile runs that will help you accomplish the Long Term Goal "the marathon".

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